


sense of sensing

by lesbianscullies



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s06e18 Milagro, F/M, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29554827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianscullies/pseuds/lesbianscullies
Summary: It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d even been in love with Scully until a few short months ago. One day, he had simply looked at her and known. Mulder couldn’t tell you when he’d fallen, if it was gradual or sudden and all at once. All he knew is that his life revolved around her, that she is the sun and he is simply spinning circles around her in orbit.Agent Scully is already in love and Agent Mulder is too dense to see that it is with him
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	sense of sensing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lesbianmulders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianmulders/gifts).



> I wrote this for my friend lesbianmulders!! We did our own silly little fic exchange and it was super fun. I had a ton of fun writing this and the other fic! Mwah, I hope you like it, girlie!

The words are stuck in his head like a bad song playing on a constant loop. Agent Scully is already in love, Agent Scully is already in love, Agent Scully is already in love.

Agent Scully is already in love and it is not with him.

The idea of her being with Padgett, doing those things he’d written about her; that was hard enough for him to deal with. More than anything, he wanted to see the sick sonofabitch not just in the jail but under it, not even for the crimes he was suspected of, but for his sheer audacity to think of Scully like that. Stalking his partner and writing his twisted fantasies managed to make Mulder angrier than any case in the past, but his heart simply broke when he said she was in love.

When Scully was clinging to him, small and sobbing on the floor, who was she thinking about? Was she wishing someone else was holding her?

It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d even been in love with Scully until a few short months ago. One day, he had simply looked at her and known. Mulder couldn’t tell you when he’d fallen, if it was gradual or sudden and all at once. All he knew is that his life revolved around her, that she is the sun and he is simply spinning circles around her in orbit. He hadn’t ever really considered what it might mean for them. He has never been very good about imagining the future but he is now acutely aware that he and Scully will likely not be running around in trench coats with flashlights chasing monsters together well into their twilight years. Still, what good is a future without her in it? 

He knows that Scully does not love him, does not view him as anything other than a co-worker, than a friend. Mulder is idealistic, yes, but he is not foolish. When he was sat up in his hospital bed and he had told her he loves her, the way she had said, “oh, brother,” and walked out of the room without a second glance, he knew that she did not need him, did not feel the same way.

Scully is a private person, she always has been in the six years they’ve worked together. She’s never talked about any men in her life, not been on any recent dates to his knowledge. Who could she possibly be in love with? This keeps him up at night. He tosses and turns on the couch and thinks about who it could be that has captured her heart. 

It is 3 a.m. and Mulder considers banging on that asshole’s door and demanding to know who it is. He decides better of it though, opting to turn on the TV to a dirty movie until he falls asleep. He never does.

The next morning, she immediately notices something is bothering him, that he hasn’t slept, the moment he walks into the basement office. She knows how to read him. Her voice is soft and full of concern as she places a hand on his shoulder and asks him what’s wrong. “Nightmares again,” he tells her, neglecting to mention that in these nightmares, he is the one walking her down the aisle to marry someone else, some ever-changing figure, face switching from Agent Pendrell to Jack Willis, Padgett, and Ed Jerse, men he’d never even seen, men he’d seen on the street, all far more suitable bachelors than he. She briefly squeezes his hand before getting to work. 

Still, the thought does not leave him. Who the hell is Agent Scully in love with?

Maybe it’s no one. Padgett had written a lot of bullshit in his manuscript, things that didn’t happen, things that Scully couldn’t’ve ever thought or said. She was right, he did know her better than that. But how could he have missed the fact that she is in love with someone? He could really stay on this line of thinking for the rest of his life, the same thoughts spiraling over and over in a twisted cycle whose only purpose was to unravel him. 

They say you truly ever fall in love once or twice in your life but he has fallen in love many times with the way she tucks her hair behind her ear or how she looks in medical scrubs in the middle of an autopsy. He has stumbled head over heels for her raised eyebrow and how she says, “Mulder, it’s  _ me _ ,” when he answers the phone. He is now unsure if he has ever loved any woman before in his life or if his entire existence was spent waiting for her.

He knows that he is in love with her, unconditionally, beyond measure and reason. He will do anything to make her smile, anything for her happiness. The thought of her with some other man hurts him but not nearly as bad as the thought of her being miserable with him chasing after unseen forces for the rest of her professional life does. He knows that he will happily do anything for her, forever going to the ends of the earth to see the way her eyes light up when she smiles at him. He is fortunate to know her, fortunate to have her guidance and insight on cases, fortunate to know how her hands feel in his. Agent Scully is already in love and it is not with him, but that is okay. Agent Mulder is also in love. Agent Mulder is in love with his partner and he will do anything for her, even if it means walking her down the aisle to hand her off to someone else.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me @x-files1993 on tumblr


End file.
